No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
