Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
