To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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