eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
