Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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