my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize