Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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