Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Randomize
