ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
