Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
