Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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