What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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