Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
