How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
