somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize