Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
