Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
