Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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