Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
