You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
