I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
