please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
