This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
