I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
