Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
