I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
