Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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