some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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