I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You're like the curious george of whores
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
