And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize