So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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