any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
