at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
