lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
