i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
