come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
