did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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