I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
