i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I need water and some morals
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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