Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
