What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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