I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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