i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize