i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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