Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
