Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
