Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
