My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
