What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
