Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
