i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize