I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
how does that bad decision feel?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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