Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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