I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
