Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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