Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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