i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
