i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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