Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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