I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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