On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
