put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize