omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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