Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
