well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
