And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
