I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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