He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
