I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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