youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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