You're completely useless in the revolution.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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