i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
