I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
